Milestone 1 and Issue 2: The first draft

 After a period of working I have finally created a first draft for the script. Upon studying it I have found that I was reasonably satisfied with some parts (the characters of Dennehy, Oliver and Jakeman) while other parts needed more work (The character of Paden and his interactions with Ned). Below I have done a more comprehensive evaluation:

Pros:

-Dennehy is a fun and enjoyable yet hateable villain

-Oliver and Jakeman's conversation in the woods and character in general turned out very well.

-The shot ideas and transitions were quite creative.

-The story is short and sweet

-A number of the scenes were very creative - such as the final scene or the scene of Ned opening the door

Cons:

-Paden so far is a bland character who is lacking in a motivation

-Paden and Ned's friendship feels wooden and forced


Considering these points I can conclude that Paden (and to a lesser extent Ned) is the weakest link in the film - to remedy this I have come up with a number of ideas with which to move forward in the second draft:


Idea number one: British Goodfellas: While writing I was very impressed with how much I liked the characters of Oliver and Jakeman and how natural their interaction was: due to this I had the idea of completely rewriting the story so Oliver and Jakeman are the protagonists attempting to loosen Dennehy's grip on the town from within.

Pros:

-Oliver and Jakeman were by far the best characters in the script so a story following them would be much more compelling film

-I feel I could write their characters much easier due to the chemistry their characters shared

Cons:

-Picking this choice would mean restarting the writing process from scratch


Idea number two: Guardian Angel: A great way to eliminate both the problem of Paden's lack of motivation and he and Ned's flimsy friendship in one fell swoop would be to stick closer to one of the inspiration films - Pale Rider, and make Paden a supernatural entity who has arrived in Goldbrook to dispense judgment upon Dennehy

Pros:

-Having them both be strangers would make Ned and Paden's relationship a lot more believable and natural

-I enjoy writing about magic, fantasy and religion so I may be able to put my talents to more use there

Cons:

-I'm still not sure if Paden would be that good of a character even if these changes were made

-I would have to adjust many scenes to accomplish this plot

-I'm not sure the ending would work as well

 

Idea number three: It's Personal: Another way of improving the script would be to give Paden a better motivation and link to both Ned and Goldbrook

Pros:

-Good idea and humanises Paden as a character

Cons:

-I don't have much passion or many ideas for this proposal

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